This is really, really important. Please take note.
This is entirely important.
This is not important. There are important issues but this is not one of them…
I wouldn’t call it important. But it is relevant.
Not only is this not important or relevant it’s not even factual…. They do not have “a right” to secrecy here. They’re on video for fucks sake. I can’t think of a less secret industry to work in.
Now if you’re asking people politely that’s fine but it would be more effective if that was done personally rather then a tumblr psa and no one is required to honor that request
'If you're asking people politely'
'No one is required to honor that request'
/facepalm so hard muhfuckas wanna fine me
Why do you expect someone to convince you not to share information that could dramatically harm their life? You really wanna be the person that does that to someone? I’ve had family & friends find my videos and not tell anyone but me, that’s respect. I’ve had other friends find out because my ex blabbed and they made my life hell for months. You’re telling me that someone has to convince you not to be that guy. Someone has to ask you politely not to share information that isn’t yours to share and could hurt them, that really says a lot.
If you don’t want people to know about it, don’t do sexual acts ON CAMERA. I get what they’re saying though about how it could harm them. But as far as friends and family being upset over it, you made that choice to be a sex worker and as an adult you should realize that people are going to be uncomfortable and upset about it. YOU chose to get naked on camera, etc so and it’s not everyone else’s responsibility to keep your secret because it’s not a secret when your videos are online, etc. You can’t cry about it when your friends find out you’re a sex worker, you chose that profession.
"I get what they’re saying"- Someone who completely missed the point of what I was saying. But don’t feel too badly about it, you weren’t alone in missing the point.
THE POINT: People can be more than ‘upset’ and ‘uncomfortable’ about it. Sexual assault/harassment is a very common way people express how ‘upset’ they are that someone they know is a sex worker. Violence is also a popular response, especially if a sex worker doesn’t immediately submit to the advances of people who now think they’re about as deserving of the right to say ‘no’ as a fleshlight (pocket pussy). You don’t know the relationships people have with their family or friends. You can’t even begin to predict how someone will react to this information, which is the only reason that I don’t tell everyone I know and meet. You share this information like a juicy bit of gossip, while I personally have to go through a checklist of objective and situational questions before deciding to tell someone what I do. I love my job, but there are still so many people who will immediately view me as less than human, making life extremely dangerous for me. You picking up what I’m putting down yet? I’m not crying because people don’t like me or call me dirty names, I’m politely informing people that ‘the secret they’re not responsible to keep’ can make them responsible for putting someone’s life in danger and causing all sorts of hell for them. Why is that of no concern to you?
Nobody who is even somewhat serious about working in the adult industry thinks that they are capable of completely keeping people from stumbling upon the fact that they’re a sex worker. There are many ways that people can find this information online, there is nothing I can do to stop that, nor do I make a significant effort to try. We are aware that our work is often recorded and online, and yes, we, better than most, know what that means. I’ve had a few people I know personally find my videos and not tell anyone else but me. That is what I’m asking of people. If you find out, don’t tell anyone else that hasn’t already found out on their own. There is no reason that you would need to tell anyone, none. So if you choose to gossip, knowing the consequences you could inflict on that person, you’re a very self important person who will need to deal with being responsible for however the people you tell react. I know, a lot of you can actually live with that kind of thing, but I’m never trying to appeal to the cruel hearted. You give two shits about the safety of others? Stop arguing and start empathizing.
But forreal, people. Show some damn empathy. You don’t have to agree with what they do, that’s your choice, but you should at least empathize with what they’re saying and respect that.